Today we ran out of butter, and I almost lost it. More butter is on the way, set for delivery tomorrow—but still! How did we even approach this butterless event horizon?? Two is one, and one, certainly, is none! And none butter means no more baking projects, no lima beans for dinner, and no toast for breakfast. I ended up making banana bread with cream cheese—AND SHAME—instead. It turned out fine.

Obviously it's not about butter. Life in the house feels delicately balanced, just waiting for the very next thing to knock it over. Today that was butter. Tomorrow, who knows! Maybe I'll open up the new curriculum sent out by the school district, feel incompetent, close the tab, and take a shameful nap for the rest of the day?

I keep thinking about this sign that hangs in the Cobra Cabana bathroom (assuming Cobra Cabana still exists):

PLEASE!! DO NOT FLUSH HYGINE PRODUCTS, PAPER TOWELS OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT DOESN'T BELONG DOWN THE TOILET. WE HAVE A REAL FRAGILE ECO SYSTEM HAPPENING HERE AND ITS BALANCE MUST BE MAINTAINED AT ALL COST. WE APPRECIATE YOUR COMPLIANCE.

Right now, we're all a toilet filled with things that don't belong. We're doing our best, at least in this house, to maintain the balance and preserve the eco system, but, dang, y'all. Dang.